Call me a safe bet...i'm betting i'm not.

Thu, 05 Feb 2004 04:06:49 GMT

Ok today was dece. I was tired as fuck cause i thought we had no school, but we did? idk what the fuck happened. But rob forgot my AOAG CD again. I finally got my FATA hoodie and my glassjaw CD. My fata CD should be coming soon. :).

BACKDOOR PRODUCTIONS
Backdoor productions is:
DIRECTORS: MIKE COSTANZA, ROB GHORMOZ
PRODUCER: PAT O'MALLEY
ACTORS: ROB GHORMOZ, PAT O'MALLEY, ERIC WROBLEWSKI, MIKE COSTANZA, SHAWN CONAHAN
HEAD BITCH: ERIC WROBLEWSKI
STORYLINE: PAT O'MALLEY, MIKE COSTANZA,ROB GHORMOZ

Out now: Captain Carl (Chapter 1)

To see Captain Carl(Chapter 1) instant message Mike Costanza, whose screen name is deadxinxditches

Coming Out Soon: TWIST (CKY type movie, named after our beloved gay bar next to Parson's family resteraunt ) and the long awaited CAPTAIN CARL (CHAPTER 2)

wha?!?!? whats that!?!?! Excited and JUST CANT WAIT?!?!? Download the trailor for Captain carl, RIGHT HERE!

Note: you must play this in Windows Media Player. If it plays in anyhting else, it will skip.

Other note: Music in trailor - Glassjaw "ape dos mil"

ok. well. you have to IM me for the trailor, on account of Tripod being MUCHO GAYO

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 02:22:02 GMT

This journal is now friendddddddddddds only.

Public journal = www.greatestjournal.com/~most_early_may

Rush me to the emergency room

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 21:56:09 GMT

Let's talk about report cards. My report card this quarter sucked severe dick. I totally slacked, and i probobly should try harder. Maybe. We'll see.

Let's talk about Co&ca and how i am, once again, insanely observed in the whole story thing. Coheed, you were the reason my grades sucked in the 2nd quarter. Cause i started trying to figure it out, and not do my work. And then, i stopped, and started doing better, but not in time to not suck this semester. Seriously claudio, why are you guys so damn interesting?

Let's talk about no school today. Because of Sister Lienita's funeral, there was no school. And it snowed like a mother today. So, once again, we get dicked over with snow.

Let's talk about Valentines day. I've been alone on every single V-day for my entire life. I just wish this year would be different. But i guess not. I guess it'll never be different. I'm always the loser kid with no date. Always.

So yeah, i'm definately not feeling this.

Ignoring the words "kill be killed"

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 20:38:30 GMT

nfgurli121 (3:51:17 PM): mike whats wrong..do yo uwant to talk about it

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from deadxinxditches (3:51:17 PM): Pull the trigger and the nightmare stops...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

deadxinxditches (4:23:21 PM): no i don't want to talk about ot
deadxinxditches (4:23:22 PM): it*
nfgurli121 (4:23:56 PM): okay just know that i love you..and if you are upset about anything ive done or something like that that i am sorry and you are good sex.
deadxinxditches (4:24:06 PM): No it has nothing to do with you
deadxinxditches (4:24:07 PM): and thanks
deadxinxditches (4:24:14 PM): I try my hardest to be good sex
deadxinxditches (4:30:28 PM): :-\
nfgurli121 (4:31:30 PM): and you succeed young grasshopper
deadxinxditches (4:32:11 PM): yes
nfgurli121 (4:33:03 PM): is it about peaches my friend?...she will come around and reaize that you are the most wanted piece of ass in town

So yeah, danielle, that made me smile. :D

Last week was, as me and kat decided, officially the great depression 2. Everyone, including me was depressed, and then everyone was even more sad because they felt bad for the other people that were depressed.

This week started off gay. Rob wasn't in school =\. I seriously wish he would stop being so depressed. I hate when my friends are depressed. Like when pat was cause of krista. I wish everything between him and robyn would get better, cause robyn and rob are both real good friends of mine and seeing them both so depressed sucks major cock.

But besides that nothing. Later.

I just noticed i didn't put Peaches in this entry at all today. So

I <3 Peaches

Fri, 30 Jan 2004 03:02:34 GMT

PS - That letter wasn't to Peaches.

Dear bitch,

Fri, 30 Jan 2004 02:31:51 GMT

Ok. Listen. me and you are over. We're done for and we're never gonna be together. I've accepted that and i dont need to you to drag me down. I'm sick of your whining and your complaining. I don't need this. I've moved on. It was your fucking fault we ended this. Twice. And i dont need this bullshit from you again. I'm sick of you, your voice, your face, your name, your fucking existance. and once and for all, i'm sick of you.

Love, Mike <#33333333333333333333333333

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 02:51:22 GMT

Iowa Is 4 Lovers: father....me and mike costanza are having a little argument that i hope you can settle
TAsante: who are u?
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: rob ghormoz
TAsante: ok
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: mike says that jesus had heat vision and i think that him saying that is a blapheme......who is right?
TAsante: heat vision?
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: yes
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: like superman
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: which i think, even if joking, is not too funny
TAsante: where is it in the Bible?
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: i'm not sure
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: i think somewhere in mark
Iowa Is 4 Lovers: or so mike says
TAsante: that is not true
TAsante: maybe he is misinterpreting the Bible
TAsante: tell Mike to proof it

Vanilla scented skies

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 20:13:39 GMT

Ok. I was reading megan's except_me journal, and she had a good point.

People who dont know me personally but read my journal probobly get such a wrong idea.

1) i know sometimes i come off as cocky, arrogant, etc. But in reality, i'm one of the most self-loathing depressed people i know.

2) I DONT CUT MYSELF, OR DO ANY OTHER FORM OF SELF-MUTILATION. Just because some of my music e.g senses fail and boysnightout, mention stuff like that, doesn't mean i do it. Jesus tap-dancing hitch-hiking christ, so many people think i do, and i dont.

So yeah. in the words of cheesy MTV documentary shows.

You think you know, but you have no idea.

I deserve to be shot for saying that

painting pictures that will never fade...

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 18:04:01 GMT

Alright. So i've been getting lots of people asking me about my layout. And asking me how to do it. Haha, i'm such a nice guy when you think about it. But anyway. I got this pimped out fuckin 70s shirt at Salvation Army the other day, and i took some pictures cause i was bored. Jess was supposed to get Peaches to come on, but she said she wasn't home. Maybe later =D. I love snow days. So right. Pictures.

I rule.

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 13:28:42 GMT

Stole this from brooke withoutyouhere

atreyu vs. zao: atreyu
daughters vs. charles bronson: charles bronson
sparta vs. billy talent: sparta
every time i die vs. give up the ghost: give up the ghost
the mars volta vs. i hate myself: mars volta
alexisonfire vs. underoath: alexisonfire
the bled vs. pg. 99: bled
saetia vs. holy molar: pass
q and not u vs. these arms are snakes: q and not u
the postal service vs. the faint: The postal service
36 crazy fists vs. glassjaw: glassjaw
modest mouse vs. armor for sleep: armor for sleep
brand new vs. saves the day: saves the day
taking back sunday vs. brand new: brand new
anatomy of a ghost vs. coheed and cambria: coheed and cambria
the used vs. thrice: thrice. The used suck
tursday vs. my chemical romance: thursday
the movielife vs. fairweather: the movielife
fall out boy vs. the starting line: fallout boy
atreyu vs. shai hulud: atreyu
the mars volta vs. sparta: sparta
count the stars vs. the ataris: count the stars
spitalfield vs. the rocket summer: spitalfield
saves the day vs. mae: saves the day
something corporate vs. straylight run: straylight run
chris carrabba vs. conor oberst: conor
hidden in plain view vs. the early november: the early november.
saosin vs. alexisonfire: alexisonfire
alkaline trio vs. vendetta red: alkaline trio
glassjaw vs. from autumn to ashes: FATA
yellowcard vs. sliverstein: This is a stupid question, they sound nothing alike. Yellowcard, cause i've liked them longer.

sing me something soft, sad and delicate, or loud and out of key...

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 02:36:28 GMT

Tue, 27 Jan 2004 22:54:00 GMT

Okay. Today was amazing yet shit at the same time.

Classes were short. We had a 2-hour delay.

Talent show was funny. I sat behind peaches :). Tim rexers band did sweet home alabama , and he is the worst guitarist i've ever heard. EVER.

Everything else was good, but boring. Mike Sowa played piano, and me, rory, jeff and steve gave him a standing ovation. haha it was good.

Joe lapinski dropped the F-Bomb during their song, and they got kicked off. Great.

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 23:57:38 GMT

This so made my day:

Mon, 26 Jan 2004 20:11:00 GMT

Okay. Today was boring. We should have had no school. Nobody was there. But i thought peaches wasn't gonna be there, but shes was :). Nothing really happened though. But i love this song. geuss who it makes me think of.

Matchbook Romance - "Tiger Lily"

We drive tonight, and you are by my side. We're talking about our lives like we've known eachother forever. Time flies by with the sound of your voice. It's close to paradise with the end surely near. And if i could only stop the car and hold on to you and never let go. I'll never let go. As we round the corner to your house, you turn to me and say "i'll be going throught withdrawl of you for this one night we have spent." and i want to speak these words but i guess i'll just bite my tounge, and accept "someday,somehow" as the words that we'll hang from. And i...i don't wanna speak these words. Cause i don't wanna make things any worse. Why does tonight have to end? why don't we hit restart, and pause it at our favorite parts. We'll skip the goodbyes. If i had it my way, i'd turn the car around and runaway, just you and i.

nick, why are you such a prick?

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 23:45:35 GMT

Ok. I've decided that we need a huge-ass snow day. Seriously. We've gotten such shit snow. We just need a day where we get like 35704239843 inches of snow and nobody can go anywhere. They rule.

The end.

we're yelling through the streets, and im out of my fucking mind

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 18:33:56 GMT

Rob, looking at i'm not exactly sure what?

Rob's straight out of compton

Rob is again, straight outta compton, this time with mary's hat on

Ok, if you can't figure out who Peaches is by now you deserve to be drug into the streets and shot in the face. Seriously.

I wanna apologize for being so depressed last night. Alot of people were trying to cheer me up when they should have been having a good time, so i'm sorry about that.

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 05:28:24 GMT

Dear mook boards, get the fuck back here. I need my late night entertainment and rob stitzer's being and asshole and everyone hating josh higgins. So whatever the fuck happened, fix it now. Love, Mike.

You're a blue eyed thunderbolt

Sun, 25 Jan 2004 05:10:41 GMT

K. Tonight was so fun. well. The end of tonight. I was like, extremely fucking depressed at first becuase of peaches and her totally ignoring me, but at the end of the night we started talking. I got lots of pictures of her though. I like her so much, she's so great. She's so pretty and nice and funny. and she has the prettiest eyes ever. :). goddddddddd she would honestly be the first girl i've ever wanted like this that i got. Hopefully she will be. and this song makes me think of her. I'll have pictures from the night tomorrow.

Consider this a letter that i never sent
however inconsiderate it seems
do you still consider me?
consider me the boy you laughed with or you
learned to live without? i suck i
know i'm late i know you waited
you wouldn't get me on the phone
and you wouldn't make me not alone.
Phone bills stacked up by my bedside
with your picture, you're looking suprised
you're what makes this city so great
My island nights are all spent dying
wait for summer to become wrought with lipstick
and wishful thinking
You wouldn't get me on the phone
and you wouldn't make me not alone
Yeah, you're a blue-eyed thunderbolt
i'm a national phenomenon
nothings absolutely definate till it's absolutely definately gone
I never thought this day would end
i never thought tonight would ever be this close to me
so let my hands stray past the boundaries of your back
and get you breathing
get this started
You're a blue-eyed thunderbolt
I'm a national phenomenon
Nothings absolutely definate till it's gone

Sat, 24 Jan 2004 22:55:53 GMT

Ok. I'm bored, so i'm posting a few songs you guys should download w/ the lyrics

"Nightmares win 6-0" by A static lullaby

This nightmare ends.
as the cocoon fills with oil.
fossils bocome waste upon cemented wings.
on the rocks father spills memories of mothers eyes.
a kiss turns to brandy.
a dagger learns to cut hair.
lipstick stains her addiction...
watch the cresent moon turn clouds into frowns.
(still trying to figure out what joe says here, cause the quality is shitty because of some effect/he's screaming/guitar and bass and drums all hit at the same time he says every word)
watch to sea swallow and forget...
given up ambiton for and legs...
venom engulfs the most wretched fairy tales.
goldilocks forgets the bite for prince charming...
each window breaths smoke, pavement paces while ciggarettes burn.
a tribal affair rises the masses of broken hearts left at her door

"Giving up" by silverstein (i know how this feels)

I used to make the light shine for you.
The sun has left my sky. Velvet walls surround my sorrows.
I’ve sacrificed my pride.

You’re giving up on me. x4

I’ve laid myself to sleep tonight. I know you’ve played out everything in your mind.

And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me.

You’re giving up on me

I’ve laid myself to sleep tonight. I know you’ve played out everything in your mind.

And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me.

And when you feel the pain, I’m wishing I could stay. How can I say I love you back, you never made me happy.

You’ve laid yourself to sleep, I never said this wouldn’t hurt. You gave up everything; I never said I’d give it back. I know you’ll never change; I won’t be good enough for you. I know, you’ll make it through, I’ll never be around to see.

And now you throw it all away. A shattered memory that you would stay, through thick and thin with me.

You’re giving up on me.

"I beleive in a thing called love" by The Darkness (also know how this feels, sort of)

Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel

Touching you, touching me
Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my hart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is A.OK!

Touching you, touching me
Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my hart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

Touching you, touching me
Touching you, God you're touching me

I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my hart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love

and finally, "The radiatior hums" by Cursive
Dinner's getting cold -- You haven't touched a thing So what's it gonna be? I can hold out much longer than you When it's steady I'm just acting out my roles When you're ready I'll be walking out that door And don't call me Pretty Baby anymore, Oh, foolish worker bee -- I'm your fucking queen. I threw out the phone to try to get through to you The lines are down, drowned by the hum of the radiator This house is the hole that you could never fill With rose-blossomed bouquets, vanities and loveseats Sad little boy, I know you get confused But everyone goes through these trials of truth and self-abuse When you're selfless you're so hard not to adore When you're selfish, I just love you even more I want to help you, but you've got to say the words: "I want to be cured." Drowned... Deep in this hole we've dug for ourselves Throw me in -- headfirst, submerged in this great depression Impoverished, and Impotent.... ...And Don't Call Me Pretty Baby I threw out the phone to try to get through to you The lines are down, drowned by the hum of the radiator This house is the hole that you could never fill With shattered dinner plates That's how we'll communicate Hey, Pretty Baby, are you ready for bed?

Sat, 24 Jan 2004 04:48:24 GMT

Tonight ruled. I went to metro to see all these bands and ended up hanging out with rifkin and random people the whole time. First of all, rifkin was hyper as fuck. He took me, pete walski, bobby edgecoat, his girlfriend and gabe to barnes and noble and he was jumping all over the place and i though he was gonna knock over tables and some shit. Rediculous.

Then we went to Denny's. We met up with some of the following people: kev mook, hoodrack, pete, matt noble, eric davis, and chris pickles.

Then we basically hung around and ate.

Then we squeezed 11 fucking people into rifkins minivan. It was wild. And to make it worse, hoodrack and davis kept playing the fucking recorder.

So then i came home and everyone else went to Mooks. It was a fun night.

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 21:51:49 GMT

This song really makes me miss having a girlfriend

"Would you like something to drink?" - Feeling Left Out

Vanilla scented sky
the candlelight can only show so much
we can let our hands see what our eyes can't

You breathe softly
And move in slow motion
We keep a firm grip on this moment
Cuz it will never last as long
as we want it to

So let's make the best of a great situation
I think I'll start at your ears
Work my way down to your neck
Roll over your collarbone
End up at your chest

Hipbones are calling my name
Only I can hear their plea
Serve as handles for the night
Skin like silk becomes slippery

Let's make the best of a great situation

Like every good story here must be an end
It's the only way we can relive this again

So let it go and wave goodbye

Happiness is a handful of days away
It's easier to count the days than hours We learned that the hard way

The number is lesser in value
And easier to swallow

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 21:42:14 GMT

Hi. So yeah, today was boring. it was a typical day. alot of people know who i like now and now im really scared that she's gonna find out, and i know she doesn't like me so i don't want her to find out i like her =\. From now on, until she knows i like her, i'm gonna call her Peaches, which i got from Hughes' older journal, cause i couldn't think of anything else, and it's annoying to write "the girl i like" all the time. So yeah.

I decided to not try out for the talent show on account of im the most disorganized person ever. And rory "couldn't find his guitar" so i didn't have one to use, cause i needed an Acoustic-electric. I don't even know what i was gonna do. I was switching from Eastbound traffic to Tommy Gun to So sad to Say to Boy who blocked his own shot and a million others. So i just decided not to do it.

Here are some pictures of me, the second came out odd

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 04:40:26 GMT

who likes my BRAND NEW BRAND NEW layout? har har har.

I'm such a fag

Thu, 22 Jan 2004 02:54:32 GMT

Dear Mighty Mighty Bosstones, since i just randomly started listening to all your records, which i own all of them, i have decided that you guys need to make a new one. and no, i don't care that you released on in 2002.

ill bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon

Wed, 21 Jan 2004 21:27:55 GMT

k. so this week has sucked up until today. I really started to miss amanda. Butttttttt now...

I like someone :) who said that? yeah, that was meeeee

Who? well, ask and maybe you'll find out.

later.